The Life-Changing Power of Self-Contentment


During my junior year of college, I became obsessed with going to the gym.

Maybe that sounds understandable because it’s good to prioritize your health. The feeling of completing a workout is so satisfying, right?

Well, the problem was that all I wanted to do was fit into a dress.

I set a goal weight for myself and thought:

“If I can reach this goal weight, I’ll fit into that dress. And because I fit into that dress, every little problem in my life will disappear. I will finally feel good about myself.”

I committed to that goal wholeheartedly, and eventually, I fit into the dress.

But then I had this daunting realization that I didn’t feel any better about myself. I still had the same problems as before, and I still didn’t like the way I looked.

I had to come to terms with a hard truth: my happiness was not dependent on my weight or physical appearance.

Perhaps an even harder truth to swallow was that I was not happy with who I was.

I didn’t feel content with who I was as a person. I didn’t accept who I was and felt like I needed to change.

This was a turning point for me and a lesson that I’m still learning today.

I started to see that if I wasn’t content with who I was as a person, focusing on the material or physical world couldn’t provide me with what I felt was missing.

So if you often tell yourself, “If only I had this, I’d be happy,” it may be time to reevaluate your relationship with yourself.

Of course, that’s easier said than done.

How do you start to feel good about who you are if you’ve never felt good enough? Is it possible to be okay with who you are?

Let’s explore what it means to accept yourself and how you can become content with who you are as a person.

The journey to self-acceptance

In order to feel content with who you are, you have to embark on the journey towards self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance means seeing yourself as you are in the moment and choosing to be okay with what you find.

Most of us like the things about ourselves that we consider strengths, but we hate the parts we see as weaknesses.

To accept only parts of ourselves means we are not fully accepting of ourselves.

When we don’t accept the parts of ourselves that we see as ‘wrong,’ we only push away a part of who we are.

Instead of pushing it away, we need to ask, ‘Why do I feel this thing about me is wrong? In what ways could I use this to help myself or others?

If you can acknowledge that what makes you different is helping to create the blueprint for your own original and unique life, you will become closer to accepting yourself.

Now I say self-acceptance is a journey because it’s the work of a lifetime.

To be who you are, after all you have been through at the hand of this world, is beautiful (how to be content with who you are)

A lot of people will advise you to work on “loving yourself” as you are.

The problem with that advice is that most of the time we don’t even like ourselves.

How can we love ourselves if we don’t like ourselves first?

You may need to completely rebuild the relationship with yourself before you can try to love or accept who you are.

And I have a concept to share that I hope might help make the process easier.

Know, like, trust yourself

If you’ve ever worked with marketing people, you might have heard of the ‘know-like-trust’ factor.

The concept is that in order to get customers to become loyal to your brand, they need to know, like, and trust you first.

I think this is the perfect framework for rebuilding the relationship with yourself so you can work towards self-acceptance.

Here’s what each part means:

1. Know yourself

The ‘know’ starts by being introduced to a brand or company. Maybe your friend tells you about them or you see someone on Instagram mention the brand.

You’re intrigued so you see what they’re all about. You realize the brand is all about sustainability which is important to you.

This is similar to getting to know yourself and understanding who you are. Knowing yourself involves examining your values and desires. You have to know what you stand for, what you value, and what your dreams for the future are.

What kind of person are you? Who do you want to be? What experiences have made you who you are today? What are your values? Which causes are important to you? Why are these things meaningful to you?

2. Like yourself

Once you’re aware of the brand, you start seeing what they have to offer.

You save some of their products to your wishlist, and you see glowing reviews from other customers.

When you realize the brand’s social media manager has a great sense of humor, you start to like them more and more.

Liking yourself involves identifying the parts of yourself that you’d be glad to find in a friend.

The key is to ask yourself, ‘What do I like about the way I [blank]? ‘ For example, What do I like about the way I treat others? What do I like about the way I show up at work? What do I like about the way I live my life?

3. Trust yourself

Once you’ve obsessed over the brand for a while, you decide to make a purchase. If the experience is good and the product lives up to your expectations, you’re going to start trusting the brand.

Trust can be broken, though. If the brand says it values sustainability but ships your package in the least sustainable packaging, you’ll question their ethics. Depending on how important it is to you, you may not shop from them again.

You can build trust with yourself by delivering on your promises and making decisions based on your values.

Of course, there are times when forgiveness is needed. Brands apologize. You apologize to yourself and give yourself grace for slipping up.

But when you break your promises more than you keep them, the trust starts to disintegrate.

When you’re clear on what’s important to you and you can make your decisions from that, trust will develop.

In order to trust yourself, you have to keep working on knowing and liking yourself. This process involves constant effort and work, but it will be worth it when you are able to live in alignment with your values.

Read next: 3 ways to build trust with yourself


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